On the fence between pain and arrogance

Sunday, 21 June 2009

Wednesday, 08 April 2009

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Saturday, 21 March 2009

  • that about sums it up...

    Let it all out
    get it all out
    rip it out remove it
    don't be alarmed
    when the wound begins to bleed

    cause we're so scared to find out
    what this life's all about
    so scared we're going to lose it
    not knowing all along
    that's exactly what we need

    and today I will trust you with the confidence
    of a man who's never known defeat
    but tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
    I will stare at you in disbelief
    oh, inconsistent me
    crying out for consistency

    and you said I know that this will hurt
    but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
    If the burden seems too much to bear
    Remember
    the end will justify the pain it took to get us there

    and I'll let it be known
    at times I have shown
    signs of all my weakness
    but somewhere in me
    there is strength

    and you promise me
    that you believe
    in time I will defeat this
    cause somewhere in me
    there is strength

    and today I will trust you with the confidence
    of a man who's never known defeat
    and I'll try my best to just forget
    that that man isn't me

    reach out to me
    make my heart brand new
    every beat will be for you
    for you

    and I know you know
    you touched my life
    when you touched my heavy heart and made it light

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Saturday, 14 March 2009

Monday, 09 March 2009

  • Sandcastles

    I: The Hole

    C  E G
    Took a step onto the quicksand
    I will only be a moment, i promise
    i'm right next to this stable land
    the thrill, intoxicating
    my common sense is put to death
    temptation sits their baiting
    my conscious sits overshadowed and muffled
    in the midst of this moment
    and all i can focus on is the feeling
    of sinking deeper, my heart lying dormant
    C D Asus

    G C G C Asus G Asus C
    I think of all the places i want to go
    of mountain tops dusted with snow
    i think of all the wrongs that i want to right
    yet i stay bundled tight
    choking on the sand that i inhale
    mouth full of dust, skin turning pale
    choking on the sand that i inhale
    waiting....


    walk the paths round the chain of lakes
    remembering that friend, that i know must hate
    me for the times i pushed away
    over that creek, it seems so far away
    now all i have is my whole in the ground
    the sands dried up, and the suns gone down
    no photographs to excuse
    a wasted afternoon, turns to dusk in the light of the moon

    I think of all the places i want to go
    down deep in the valley where the river flows
    i think of all the people i want to meet
    if i could only move my feet
    choking on the sand that i inhale
    mouth full of dust, the air now stale
    choking on the sand that i inhale
    waiting...

    Take another look and try to find
    the person that is hiding, where's he hiding
    in plain sight, he's a tricky one
    hidden through lying, where's he lying
    in the middle of the road, waiting for a sign
    the stars are laughing, the stars are laughing

    love, hope, gone in the blink of an
    I try to find my way home again
    lost so long in a familiar
    place my heart into your hands of

    try not to think of the man you've come to be
    try not to sink back into the sand you breathe
    the rain has come and now the choice is clear
    stay far away from the things that make you disappear

    disappear
    disappear
    disappear
    please don't disappear again....
    Am i even visible....

    II: Building my Castle
    em am
    Suns up, the heat drying out every drip and i
    think back to that hole in the sinking sand
    oh that comfortable warmth that i could find back inside
    Dragged down by my desire
    to be back there, away from this pyre
    of a landscape, that i am dying in (coming alive in)
    no longer will this process hold me down
    i am going back to comfort i am going back to the ground
    even though it might kill me, and take down all i love
    its call is irresistible, i can't ignore, i can't avoid, i can't shrug it off!

    back in that place i realize, to my surprise
    that every drop of water has burned up into the sky
    and now my peaceful hole of sinking sand i could control
    has now become crusted over, the edges crumble with my expectations
    but then,  i come to the stunning realization, that this could be the beginning of something so much more
    that hole may have disappeared through weathered ages but now i have a plan
    to build something greater, something stronger, a castle of the likes of those in lore
    and as every day passes it seems my mouthfuls of sand
    start to turn into walls and towers and moats and bridges
    that will never open or close for this is my private
    castle made of sand and broken visions

    G am em
    and i want to be alone...inside this crowded home
    and i want to be alone......no one allowed
    no one allowed inside!

    em am B7
    a voice calls out to me
    this castle will destroy you
    and inside i know its right
    that this will be the death of everything yes i know
    yet i cant get out of my sight
    Break through the walls, screams the wind
    and find your way into the wilderness....
    its closer than you think
    you're just looking in the wrong direction
    Stop looking in the wrong direction

    Tear down the walls, let your castle fall
    tear down the walls, before you can do nothing at all
    tear down the walls, let your castle fall
    tear down the walls, before you can do nothing at all!!!!

    III: The Wilderness
    am G Dsus
    Started on a walk through the wilderness
    lions, tigers, bears, oh my i hope to find
    but all i see is mirrored illusions
    mirrors of pictures of paintings of lies
    The deeper i go, the shallower it seems
    the light through the trees, casts a haze of olive green
    the blackbirds and cockerels cry out in vain
    oh, to see,a familiar scene, to make it home again
    Oh, i cant go home....
    Not there again...
    into that crumbling home
    made of sand, made of sand

    C G Dsus
    E G C E G C D
    -to be finished later-

    IV: Triumph/Return to the ruins
    D G
    Am Em D
    G A G/B A/C#
    D C G

    V: Recession/Rebuilding My Castle
    Em (G F# D#)
    Em Am C D 5/8
    7/8 same lead into

    VI: The Monsoon
     em
    em12 c12 d123
    C
    e c d

    Em Em/d Em/C# A C
    VII: Realization

    VIII: Rescue (again)
    G C
    Go and sin no more
    theres an open invitation, just gotta knock on that door
    IX: Cloudy Days Ahead

Thursday, 05 March 2009

Friday, 06 February 2009

Thursday, 05 February 2009